I have gestational diabetes and I’m really upset about it.
People compare it to orange soda, I think it tastes like super sweet crap. Then I had to stay by the lab while I had my blood drawn 4 times, every hour on the hour. Ugh I hate needles!!
A couple days later I got a call from a nurse letting me know that my test was 3 points above normal. She then explains that I need to come in to meet with a dietitian who will give me a meal plan. Then I would meet with my case manager so that I can learn how to use my new blood sugar monitor. Confused by all of this new information, I asked to speak with my doctor. My doctor called me shortly after and explained some of the risks with not following their guidelines.
I reluctantly attended my meeting with my dietician where I met two more preggos who were only 3 and 4 months pregnant (yikes, I felt bad for them!). We went over the food plan and were given a couple worksheets with menu ideas.If you know me, then you know how much I HATE needles. For example, when I get a shot or have my blood drawn I am very particular. As soon as I get in the seat I turn my head and close my eyes. That way I don’t see them prep the needle(s) and it’s over before I know it. I’m not so much scared of the blood, but the needles is what gets me.
The first day was the hardest! Every time I would bring the needle keeper close to my finger I would wimp out and pull away. After a few failed attempts I finally went for it but didn’t break the skin. Therefore I had to prick myself again. Ugh, I was so mad!
After a week of pricking my fingers it became a routine, but my numbers were not great.
My case manger scheduled a review meeting a week later. Between the time I saw her and my meeting I had two big events to attend on the calendar, my baby sprinkle and a Bat Mitzvah. I explained to her how important these two events were so she requested I try to eat close to my meal plan.
I decided to go all out at both events since they fell on the same day. My numbers were not great to begin with and pricking my finger 4 times a day was starting to make my fingers numb so I just went for it.
After a routine GYNO appointment hubby and I sat down for my review meeting. I met with my dietician, case manager and a social worker. I was super nervous and just wanted the meeting over with. After reviewing my numbers they told me what I didn’t want to hear. I was told that I needed to go on insulin. I was so upset. As is I am having a hard time checking my blood sugar, now they want me to add more needles! Luckily hubby was there, because thinking about it now I probably checked out at some point. He asked some questions and we were given instructions.
After a visit to the pharmacy we went home with the plan to start that evening.
After setting up yet another station, hubby was going to administer the insulin.
I FREAKED OUT!
I’m not sure if I had a panic attack, but it was bad. Like real bad!
Needless to say we didn’t get the job done that evening.
I was so upset and freaked out that I was still a mess the following day.
I felt like such a failure. I wasn’t able to take care of business instead I sobbed uncontrollably while I knew what I needed to do. My baby and I needed this medication. And I couldn’t do it.
Hubby took Sarah the following day for a few hours while I stayed home. I needed to chill out! My heart was racing, my eyes were puffy and my head was pounding. It’s sad that I couldn’t just do it. It’s just a needle! For some reason I just don’t do well around needles and the night before was really traumatic for me.
Luckily we had leftovers from the night before because I was in no shape to deal with reality.
After dinner and Sarah’s bed time routine I asked hubby not to talk about it.
He did his prep work and I turned my head like I normally do at the doctor’s office. A few seconds later he administered the insulin and it was all over.
I (he) did it!!!!!!!
Now the sucky part, I have 9 more weeks to do this shit! Ugh!!! I am so upset!
Have any recipes to share? Or advice?
I’m going to need a lot of strength in the next couple of months so please send me your good vibes.